HOW CAN WE STOP HIS NAIL-BITING?
Again this is not very common in under-fives, but if it happens, it can sometimes be another sign of tension and insecurity. In this case the cause must be considered and direct attention will make matters worse. However like other habits it may simply be a learned response to rough, catchy nails, so keep nails trimmed.
HOW CAN WE STOP OUR CHILD EATING DIRT- Occasionally a child will go beyond the stage of putting unusual things in his mouth and develop a liking for food, coal, paper or even faeces. Luckily it seldom makes the child ill, although it may sometimes be associated with anaemia. However you should try to curb the tendency and safeguard him from all dangerous or poisonous substances.

Make sure he has his afternoon rest at a time when you and the baby are having yours, even if he doesn` t sleep, it` s good policy to put him into his cot or bed for an hour or two as a matter of course with a book or toys. It is particularly important to make sure he has some interesting occupation while you feed or bath the baby.

Often he will want to help and of course you should let him. But after a while the novelty will wear off, and he will just get bored or hostile if he is hanging around watching with nothing special to do. Radio and television programmes can be a real help at these times, but try to to avoid the temptation to switch on more often to keep him quite.

It is important not to give the ex baby the feeling that he is just being fobbed off and is now an also-ran. Of course you will have a very busy day but do try to find some special time for him alone, when you can play with him, tell stories and generally make him the center of the picture. Here` s where a father can be of real help not only in the practical ways we have suggested but in involving himself with the older child and his doings and interests so that the toddler is given a feeling of security and importance in the new family set-up.

Even men who find it difficult to become really intrigued with the development of a small baby find they have much greater rapport with an enchanting toddler who is beginning to talk back and develop skills. Both father and child will benefit. Playgroups are particularly valuable at this time but do try to settle your older child into his playgroup before the baby is born so that he does not t see it as a banishment caused by the baby` s arrival but the privilege of his age and maturity. I f your toddler does go to playgroup or nursery school, it` s still important to give him time and attention all to himself when he is at home.

We can` t expect every baby to conform to what suits us. Eventually most of them do settle down to regular pattern of sleep-an hour or two in the morning, an hour or two in the afternoon, a good long evening sleep and then following the last feed of the day, six or seven hours at night.

There is absolutely nothing we can do to ensure that a baby sleeps when we want him to. The amount of sleep the individual baby seems to need can` t be predicted. He may be at his brightest and best at 2 am when his parents most emphatically are not; or he may need, and get, long unbroken sleeps and earn a reputation as a model baby who is a credit to his parent` s methods of up bringing . If fact, in none of these cases can the parents take any credit or blame. If a baby wakes in the night, he may be content to lie quietly gurgling to himself. There is no need to disturb yourselves or him if this is what happen, but if he sounds distressed, it is not wise to leave him in the hope that he will drop off again of his own accord.

He will probably just work himself up into a frantic state, and you will have to attend to him in the end, anyway and you will be encouraging a pattern of fear and loneliness and desperate crying for attention. He may just be a baby who needs company and a short reassuring visit, a drink of water and a little cuddle will settle him down again. Try to do this with good grace, however sleepy you are, so that he doesn` t get upset by rough and impatient handling, which will obviously make things worse. If your baby regularly wakes at night and keeps you awake, you might consider radically altering your own way of life while this pattern lasts. If one of the parents is working, he will obviously need to sleep as well as possible during the week, but could take a turn of duty during the weekends, while the other has a rest.

If both are working outside the home, it is only fair to share the burden-each taking alternate nights off duty. Like adults baby` s sleep varies in type through the night. They don` t just sink into dreamless oblivion for hours at a time as some people imagine. In the lighter phase of sleep, a baby` s eyelids may flicker, and he may change his facial expression, breathe irregularly and make little snuffling sounds. Then he will pass into a phase of a deeper sleep, breathing regularly and remaining quite still. If he is wakened from this kind of sleep he may be irritable, pale and even distressed. This alternating pattern of sleep is quite normal.

If your child is saying nothing intelligible ( to you) or doesn’t` t respond to your verbal communications with him by this age, it would be as well to mention this to your doctor or at the child health center.

Some children develop speech very late, how ever, and catch up rapidly, so failure to talk is by no means necessarily assign of anything amiss, But for your peace of mind, if you think your child` s speech is delayed compared with others of his age, you should seek advice.

If he has never been talked to-although this is hardly likely in the case of parents reading. Of course he would not learn to talk, and if he shows other disturbing sign-very withdrawn behavior, repetitive moments or action or slowness in other fields of development for instance his delayed in talking must be investigated.

As we,` ve already seen we discussing the needs of babies, the parents who talk and sing to their children at very possible opportunity are helping in the early stages of language development. It` s just as important to keep this up at the toddler` s stage except that now verbal communication will be on both sides, and that much more rewarding.

Try not to become so distract or bored that you dry up conversation by a perfunctory grunt; in the end, your toddler trying so hard to put his thoughts and reactions into words, will give up. Of course he tends to be repetitive once he can say or do something new he will go on and on in a way that would be quite un acceptable in an adult companion, but his new saying or action delights and never bores him. It` s part of his developing mastery over himself and his environment.

Walks and shopping expeditions can provide a lot of sights and experiences that are worth lingering over and talking about, so try not to hurry them if you possibly can. When you look again through your toddler` s eyes you may learn to notice a new things about the familiar scene that you have been missing.

They talk about new events in their lives and reenact them in their play for days and weeks afterward. This is how they learn and mature.

New experiences for children are exciting for parents too because they can share in their children` s delight and can relive the best days of their own childhood.

Children keep parents young and lively. When excursions go well, the love and companionship between children and parents are heightened. But there can be strains that turn excursions sour. New experiences are more tiring than familiar ones, particularly for small children. It` s hard for parents to make allowances for this. Most adults when visiting a museum or zoo would like to see it all, at least briefly to make sure they have not missed anything especially appealing but they can protect themselves by quickly ignoring what doesn` t interest them.

Young children cannot be that selective. At a zoo every animal engages their intense interest. Therefore it` s wise for parents to plan in advance to see only part of any exhibition perhaps not more than one and a half hours worth, when they take along preschool children. In this same connection it also is wise though difficult for parents to let children go at their own pace.
The typical scene at the zoo, for instance, is for the adults having seen enough of the elephants to press on calling back to the child, “ come on hurry up we want to see the giraffe over here” but the child is still lost in wonder at the elephant` s trunk or eating habits, so aim to follow the child rather than pull her.

Adults also tend to keep talking at the child about what impresses them, rather than letting the child find her own interests and then ask questions about them. Children who have the meagerest appetite at home become ravenous when they see hot dogs, ice cream, candy and soda pop at a ball game. Even when the game is over, you are leaving the grandstand and the child will be able to raid the refrigerator at home within fifteen minutes, he insists that this drink or this bag of popcorn is essential to ward off death from thirst or hunger and that the stuff at home won`t do.

The souvenirs which irritate parents because of their trashiness, inappropriateness and expensiveness fill children with longing. The solution in on way can be to give them a fixed sum of money at the start for all souvenirs, rides and food and let them do the balancing of their own desires, that is better than having to argue about each request.

It will probably be easier if you try to fit the older child in as far as possible with the grown-up meals and enlist his father to take charge of the evening bath and morning dressing routines.

Make sure he has his afternoon rest at a time when you and the baby are having yours, even if he doesn’t` t sleep, it` s good policy to put him into his cot or bed for an hour or two as a matter of course with a book or toys.

It is particularly important to make sure he has some interesting occupation while you feed or bath the baby. Often he will want to help and of course you should let him. But after a while the novelty will wear off, and he will just get bored or hostile if he is hanging around watching with nothing special to do. Radio and television programs can be a real help at these times, but try to to avoid the temptation to switch on more often to keep him quite. It is important not to give the ex baby the feeling that he is just being fobbed off and is now an also-ran.

Of course you will have a very busy day but do try to find some special time for him alone, when you can play with him, tell stories and generally make him the centr of the picture. Here` s where a father can be of real help not only in the practical ways we have suggested but in involving himself with the older child and his doings and interests so that the toddler is given a feeling of security and importance in the new family set-up.

Even men who find it difficult to become really intrigued with the development of a small baby find they have much greater rapport with an enchanting toddler who is beginning to talk back and develop skills. Both father and child will benefit. Playgroups are particularly valuable at this time but do try to settle your older child into his playgroup before the baby is born so that he doesn` t see it as a banishment caused by the baby` s arrival but the privilege of his age and maturity. I f your toddler does go to playgroup or nursery school, it` s still important to give him time and attention all to himself when he is at home.